In hindsight, I should have posted something like this earlier. But I doubt I could have compiled such a comprehensive list if I did. It took a long time to organize all of this in my head.
However several comments I’ve received recently made me realize that this topic has never truly gone away. Instead of some out-of-place comment in one of the chapters where I feel uncomfortable expanding upon the topic, I’d much rather talk about it in a dedicated post.
First, let’s be frank at this point: Daybreak is more or less dropped. Maybe one day I’ll decide to write a bonus chapter out of nostalgia, but the chances of the main plot continuing is slim at best. I’m not a professional writer, and as a hobbyist I can only dedicate so much time to it. I’ve learned that trying to tackle more than one story at a time stretches myself far too thin, to the point where it hurts my actual career; this happened in 2018 and gave me a major burnout that, to be honest, I didn’t fully recover from until late last year (2019). I’ve also learned since that I really don’t have the temperament to be a professional writer– I lose way too much sleep over what other people think of my stories. So, after many hard lessons, I decided that sticking to one story and not spreading myself too thin really is the best approach. And what that ‘one story’ is will be decided by me, not what others want: because it’s my free time and hobby, because I need to enjoy my time spent and actually relieve day-to-day stress, not build it.
So why not Daybreak then? Well, I’ve written about it here and there, but here’s a more comprehensive list. I’ve compiled it here so I can point to it whenever someone asks me again. I must also highlight that none of these items, individually, would have made me drop Daybreak. But combined together? It gives me a writer’s block every time I lift the proverbial pen, despite the fact I’m still emotionally attached.
- It was becoming far too stressful: Daybreak Volume 3 gave me a really difficult time, and it tested the friendships that I’ve developed with several of my long-time beta-readers– especially Kadi, who has been a huge support to me for the last decade (we’ve known each other since our translator days). Today, every time I think back to the middle of volume 3 when I was depressed, stressed out, and on the verge of ruining long-time friendships because I couldn’t get over some disagreements in writing, I think: why? was it worth all that? Because some the underlying issues have never been resolved, and I’m not keen to face it again.
- Lack of planning: The biggest problem is Daybreak was simply never designed to be written as a long series. I never established a cast based on long-term needs, and the more I write, the more I find myself forced to address this massive flaw. To build a new conflict I must establish multiple new characters, not just antagonists but other support characters to play out their roles. And many of these roles aren’t periphery but front and center, where they hold far more importance than even long-time characters from previous volumes. This dilution of scenes over character development and priorities was giving me a massive headache: I wanted to keep working with the support cast I have, to give them ‘screen time’ and not just to new characters, but I couldn’t afford to slowly work newer characters in due to the important roles they hold. This overstretch of ‘screentime’ was destroying the pacing and really hurting me, bad. Whenever I think about my Volume 4 plans, I realize that it runs into the exact same problems to which I had no solution. In hindsight, I should have used the opportunity at end of Volume 2 to kill several characters off, despite my personal attachment. Because this issue has become that task you don’t want to start because you know from experience you’ll hate it — and as mentioned in previous point, I don’t want to go through the same experience again. This is one of the biggest lessons I took to heart when starting a new story, which I’ve discovered… well, long-term planning from the very start has its own problems.
- It still hurts: I’ve never written about it in detail and likely never will (too personal), but the drama between me and Hachi (the artist for Daybreak) which made us break off all contact really hurt me, and still does whenever I think about it. When you grow to like someone so much and then have your heart so utterly broken, it tends to leave scars. Those scars resurface whenever I look at Daybreak.
- The next step: There’s no way around it: I have no idea how I’d write Daybreak Volume 4. I know exactly what’s the ending I want, down to exact scenes and dialogues in exchange (the final chapter between Pascal, Kaede, and Sylv), but I’m unsure how to get there. I don’t like the plans I once made. I could make new plans but I’m rather stuck facing the same issues, which results in similarly problematic plans that I don’t want to execute. Considering this is a hobby and not a job… why am I bashing my head against a wall when I shouldn’t have to?
- My tastes have changed: I’ve written about this topic before, but honestly my own tastes have changed since I first began Daybreak. I’ve more or less stopped consuming anime and light novels altogether due to my views on Japanese pop-media trends. But… that doesn’t actually affect much since my writing always reflected my non-fiction interests more than my fictional ones. Except there have been massive shifts even there. I’ve stopped focusing on history as the centerpiece of my reading and instead switched more into geopolitics and cultural analysis. I’ve started taking many topics far more seriously than before– for example the more I read about cultural attitudes, the more I realize I’m doing a poor job in Daybreak (some reviewer once pointed out Kaede doesn’t feel Russian, and in hindsight they’re correct). When I look at Daybreak today I cannot take some of its early moment seriously. I’m not ashamed of it –in fact quite the opposite– but nevertheless I often have the same feeling as one would towards their younger days: oh how foolish and simple my views were back then!
- The genderbender problem: I actually wrote a whole post on this, and then decided not to publish it because I was dissatisfied with it. But the gist of it comes down to: Daybreak is a ‘hard’ genderbender, where Kaede, due to her background of having personally changed genders, has no choice but to reflect upon it whenever a new situation pops up where there is a significant difference in perspective caused by her gender. As someone who wants to write about gender issues seriously, I must engage the topic or otherwise feel inconsistent in character. However, when the focus of the chapters is not on the gender aspect, this creates a serious dilution of ‘screentime’ and contrast of moods that it takes its toll on the story. It makes me realize why most genderbenders stay as romantic comedies, because then there is no conflict of interest in terms of the writer’s focus. But while Daybreak has its share of romcom scenes, it isn’t one at the core of its story. This has created a lot of headaches for me. Eve doesn’t have this issue because of the gap between Luna/Alexei — they share the same soul, but their identities aren’t one and the same. Luna was raised as a girl and therefore, while she might reflect upon gender differences (when it pleases me to do so), she doesn’t have to. This saves me so much headache and grief.
- Too much baggage: Again, I lose too much sleep over what people think of my stories, and Daybreak simply has too much baggage associated with it. One of Daybreak‘s biggest advantages was the fact it started as a comedy, and not a serious military/political fiction. This helped a lot in bringing readers to it, but attention is a double-edged sword. It brought in way too many readers in who annoyed me– because they couldn’t even be bothered to read a wiki page instead of running off their imagination on how topics like gender differences work. After years of working through such comments I grew sick of it. Eve represents a new start for me and a way to distance myself from them.
(…more to add to the post when I think of it)
Some people say that I should finish Daybreak first but that doesn’t grasp the story I wrote. I could go on writing 5 more volumes with Daybreak and it still wouldn’t reach a satisfying conclusion, because the core issues between its main characters require certain geopolitical conditions to be met before they can resolve them, the biggest of them being the conclusion of the ongoing war. Do I want to spent 5-10 years of my life just to ensure some readers are satisfied? Do I want to spend a year writing a rushed ending that would satisfy nobody and would only earn my dislike? Ask yourself if that doesn’t sound selfish.
No, I wanted a fresh start, one where I could reflect on everything I’ve learned from Daybreak and create a new story — one where I can rediscover my love for writing and ditch all the problematic baggage that Daybreak built up over the years. Eve is far from perfect, which is why I kept tweaking its start before now. But it represents that new hope for me: to write because I enjoy it and not because I feel obligated to.
Over the 2019 holidays I pumped out 3 chapter rewrites (no plot changes, just new scenes) and 2 new chapters (ch8 in beta at time of this posting) for Eve, because I enjoyed doing so. It took a lot of time but it was fun! I haven’t felt like that for a very long time.
I hope you can understand. I want Daybreak‘s more devoted readers to support me if possible. I try to make Eve something the same people would enjoy. But just as I cannot be throwing away years of my own free time, I cannot ask others to spend their time if they do not like it.
But hey… I tried. I cannot do any better than that.
Author's CommentIf you've enjoyed this update, please take a moment to vote for Daybreak on Hyperion at TopWebFiction. Aorii isn't good at self-promotion so every bit of your support helps.
Thank you \(•ᴗ•)/
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Thanks for the explanation, i checked from far to far if there was an update, I’m sorry that you took it so much to heart and have been burned by it.
take care of your career, your hobbies and everything that could make you feel happy.
the fiction was really enjoyable, i hope one day you’ll be able to write without so much personal feedback.
take care, thanks for the story !
I really enjoyed the first volume of Daybreak when I read it for the first time all those years ago, so much so that I’ve kept half an eye on the story ever since and even now years later… so it’s a real pity to find out that it has been officially dropped. I do appreciate you taking the time to make a post like this to give closure though, some of my other favorites have just wordlessly disappeared, so thanks for being clear.
I don’t think I’ll follow your next story. I had a lot of fun reading your more “light-hearted” content but now that you’ve shifted entirely to more seriously toned fiction I don’t find it as enjoyable. That’s just my personal taste though and despite not liking it as much I still feel that you are a very talented author so I wish you the best of luck with your future endeavors.
Perfectly understandable. And I’m glad you’ve been with us for the journey thus far. Good luck o/
Really sad to see this drop as Daybreak was one of my favorite reads, but i understand you gotta do whats best for you. Hope your stress improves with Eve!
I will still be checking weekly in hopes we get that final chapter between Pascal, Kaede, and Sylv!
p.s
I actually really like how genderbending was done here, waaay better than all the other genderbends ive seen out there which for the most part follows a generic formula that tbh makes no sense to me
I really enjoyed the opportunities genderbender gave me as well, both in terms of humor opportunities and in character development. Which is why I set up with something similar in Eve, yet not quite the same to avoid the same problems I had.
What was your planed ending you had? . Understand if you don’t want to talk about it. Been lurking since you put the prolog on krtykal site love you’re writing style
I might put together a post at some point. The ending I envisioned for vol4 gets pretty complicated…
I was never really one for reading novels and such, but when a good friend of mine insisted so much that i try your story I caved. Never before had I been so invested and intrigued that I actually spent some nights without sleep. Convincing myself that I would sleep after one more, one more chapter only to wake up several hours later knowing I passed out without any memory of the previous chapters I went through(which was kinda embarasing). It saddens me that you will no longer be writing Daybreak but seeing your reasons, I cant help but agree that it will only bring you harm. Daybreak will always hold a special place in my heart as the first story that gave so much to yearn for. Thank you.
Well I’m glad you got into and enjoyed the series so much ^^, and apologies for the troubles that forced me to cancel it.
Hi, I am saddened to read that you will not be able to complete Daybreak, I loved everything about it and after having read it twice for as far as it was released I can’t recall having disliked anything about it. I do however respect your wish to move on, you have my full support on going on with (“Eve”?). I am a bit confused with your reference to “Eve” to be honest. I might have missed it, but I always thought it was called Samaran daybreak, but I just now noticed the title “The Eve of Rebirth” xD So probably my bad 😛
Anyway, to get back to what I was trying to say. I enjoyed the story of Kaede, but so far I also enjoyed the stories in Eve. So keep up having fun in your hobby and I will hopefully enjoy the results of it for a very long time.
Hi Marijn, unless I’m mistaken this is your first time commenting.
Thank you for the support, as well as respecting my decision. It was not an easy one =\
Samaran Daybreak is the blog name. Eve of Rebirth is the (tentative) story name… well it’s been tentative for over a year since I can’t since of anything better.
I’m a little hesitant to use the term ‘rebirth’ due to a terrible reputation Isekai stories have. Yet… the word means so much to both the characters and the story as a whole.
The main reason was I liked daybreak was that it’s somewhat the same as others but different and it’s good. There are other writers who think outside the box but fail on the follow-up; like doing something different for the sake of being different.
Stories similar to Daybreak is like a burger, put bread on top and bottom put in meat then you can say it’s a burger but saying it’s delicious is a different story. I am not a hardcore history buff and I don’t know how Russians act but I was convinced. For the first time, I haven’t used my ‘suspension of disbelief’ in a fantasy setting. I may not remember every detail but I remember how it felt and it was great.
Thank you for giving us fans the closure we need. Without it, we would still be clinging on the small hope that it would continue. But having said that, I probably won’t stop recommending the series and would probably give it one last read.
Thank you Aorii, it was a pleasure to read your work and I am looking forward to Eve of Rebirth. I will always be a fan of your work.
I would like to end this with my favorite lines from the series. (took me a while to find it).
“Let Gabriel have the throne,”
“Let him show the world that he cares more for dynastic struggles against his own brother than the welfare of the nation. That he yearns for the grace of the Holy Father yet turns a blind eye towards his responsibilities as royalty.”
“Meanwhile, I shall show our people the exact opposite — that I do not care for the crown, for authority, not even for personal revenge. All of those are but minor concerns in light of current affairs.”
“The first and foremost responsibility of royalty is not to carry on the succession. It is to protect our realm, our beliefs, and our people’s way of life. We shall go south — join the front lines, blunt the invasion, and resolve this crisis that threatens all of Rhin-Lotharingie.”
“Then we shall see whom the people recognize as their legitimate and true sovereign.”
P.S: I’ll definitely read that nostalgia chapter if it ever comes out.
Thank you for the kind words. You’re definitely one of those reasons for whom I’m glad I read mostly nonfiction ^^
Though to be honest, I feel like I sometimes failed the follow-up myself. I’ve written extensively about how my ambitious goals for vol3 ended up hurting the volume (and ultimately the series).
And sorry it took me this long to arrive at a closure point. For a long time I was in denial myself; I wanted to at least finish vol4, yet I couldn’t bring myself to type out even another scene.
Oh, and if that’s your favorite dialogue from Daybreak, then you should definitely like Eve. I often worry about my abilities to deliver character exposition (so many rewrites in early chapters) or emotional drama, but my ability to write political interactions is one that I have confidence in 😉
I didn’t see that there was a link in your reply; it must be me being temporarily color blind. I can’t believe I’ve just read it just now and it was a post from two years ago.
After reading it, here are my thoughts. (imagine this is my comment to you 2 years ago)
I don’t know if its just me but at the scene with Kaede, Sylv and Vivi, when I read it, it was not that terrible as other make it out to be. I only learned about the issue after reading about the comments and it surprised me a bit (the comments I mean). I don’t know if its difference in culture or perspective. I don’t know if it’s an Asian thing or ethnical thing but my moral compass can tolerate such acts in ‘f-i-c-t-i-o-n’. The act may not be acceptable in real life but not acceptable doesn’t mean impossible; it could happen.
The comment about Hachiman, that got me good. I thought I was the odd one. I can’t understand why peopele sing praises of him, not in a way that I want ridicule them, far from it, it just mean that ‘tastes’ differ. I watched the anime and it’s okay; it didn’t appeal to me but it wasn’t horrible. I even tried reading the light novels to dig deeper into his character but I still didn’t get it.
Sylvianne is my favorite character, ‘not in spite of’ what happened in volume 3 ‘but because of’ what happened in volume 3. She is a ‘complicated’ character not in a sense of being confusing but more on her depth as a character. I also describe her complicatedly as ‘someone who she is but she is not’. We as a reader/observer have been introduced to her at some point and some of us might even liked her ‘character’ but what interests me about her is how events in her life triggers her to go ‘out of character’, acting different from how we ‘initially perceived’ her; acting contrary to our expectations.
It is a clash of [who she really is as a character] and [how her character is perceived] by the readers; personal bias plays a big factor in liking her character so I can somewhat understand why some people were put off or felt disillusioned.
Going back, your emotional drama and character writing already got me sold even with the worries so I’m confident with that. Still, my understanding of political interactions admittedly is subpar at best (I make up for it by having rereads) but that’s on me.
P.S: I can’t believe it took an hour for me to write this comment, but it was fun nonetheless.
Thanks for your thoughts. Even two years after it’s good to hear =)
Morally speaking, ‘the act’ isn’t much. I’ve seen way more questionable behavior in real life that was accepted/forgiven one way or another. However, people do like to pass judgment and passing judgment on a fiction character is easy. Biggest lesson I learned from that is… well, if I *really* want to explore some of those behavior again, don’t pick a female character. People simply aren’t very tolerant when it comes to morals and girls.
This may sound sad considering your view on Sylviane, but I’m probably never going to write another Sylv (someone with quite that many emotional layers which makes her so complicated) again. It was interesting to plan and research. But it wasn’t fun to write. In fact it was downright stressful, and the divisive results simply weren’t worth the effort =\
One thing that whole experience taught me was… there’s a reason there’re so few realistic portrayals of mentally troubled people in media. I thank you for seeing my goals and past the average conceptions, but I don’t think we’re the common ones.
I have loved your fiction writing, as your worldviews bleed through and cover more complex issues than most web fiction. It is unfortunate to see Daybreak’s death made official, yet it makes sense and was inevitable. It is nice to hear a definitive decision on that front.
(Your blog style posts, however, have annoyed me with their condescension towards readers and reek of intellectual elitism. But whatever, your fiction is still fun)
Does this mean you are finally on solid footing and I can expect less rewrites? Or are re-writes a thing I should continue to expect?
The prologue rewrite has actually been in work since the beginning of last year. It just took forever to manage, with its repeated drafts, revisions, and feedback. However, at this stage I’m more or less satisfied with it, and my beta-readers mostly agree. My general edit of ch1-6 also left me pretty satisfied, so I think there won’t be any more major rewrites of the exposition at this point.
However even in Daybreak I rewrote some scenes post-publish, so it’s not impossible, just not often once I get my grounding. (also to be fair, none of the changes I made have actually rewritten the plot, simply added more scenes into the opening chapters).
As for my blog posts, what I can say. I am an intellectual elitist. I do not pretend otherwise (xD). I’ve been told by others that my natural speaking style is often condescending and this is… something I seek to change but struggle to grasp. My apologies.
One of the reasons I liked Daybreak is that it took both gender-swapping and power imbalances in relationships seriously, instead of ignoring them or playing them as jokes like most writers seem to. I can understand how it might be hard to fit in, since Daybreak ended up with such a military and political focus, but I do want to say that I’m glad it wasn’t a romantic comedy.
It is a little sad to see Daybreak go unfinished, but frankly I’m just glad you’re still writing. I’m enjoying Eve so far, and I’m glad you’re enjoying writing again.
I’m sad too. Daybreak will always have a special place in my memories. But… (shrug). Its opening did also mislead a lot of readers, because military and politics is really my specialty xD
Thanks for your support ^^