In hindsight, I had made one big mistake during these past two years when Daybreak was on hiatus: I had never gone back and read the original volume that started the whole story.
I had built up this image in my head that it wasn’t what I wanted moving forward. That it was a piece of work from my past, when my tastes were different. That I was no longer interested in such an opening format.
It’s not true.
I’m still just as attached.
It took me a long time to be able to read it without feeling pain. The last chapter I wrote (v4ch2) was just before a row between me and Hachi (the artist) ended all contact between us. For me at least, the episode was heartbreaking. I thought we were friends who could discuss all kinds of things. It turned out to be my delusions. I regret my mistakes in not being careful enough with words, but… (sigh) anyways…
For a long time I couldn’t even open the Daybreak folder without feeling pain. Even as I wrote other fiction in the Hyperion setting, I would go into the folder, grab whatever I need, and then rushed to close it.
But this year, I’ve finally recovered enough, put enough distance between me and what had happened. I could read what I’ve written years ago, embrace it, feel it.
I realized that I still don’t want to give it up.
I missed working with the fun characters I’ve built up — Kaede, Pascal, and Sylviane.
I still have a host of structural issues with Daybreak‘s story (as written when I dropped it). It’s still poorly planned at the start. It still gives me a ton of headaches in moving forward. The genre expectations weren’t laid down properly. The shift in focus was too sudden after the 1st volume. The war came too swift and absorbed too much focus. Et cetera. Et cetera.
But I should never have written it off as unsalvageable. I should have examined all the other options, not merely take a polar “[continus] vs [drop]” stance.
And just the other day, five months after I officially dropped the project, I had a moment of revelation while talking to a friend.
What if: instead of starting the story in Pascal’s home country of Weichsel, I started it in Sylviane’s country of Rhin-Lotharingie instead? The 1st volume would still play out in almost exactly the same manner. However, I would be able to start my focus on Rhin-Lotharingie far earlier — start introducing the country, its people, the major characters, et cetera.
I would be able to build it brick by brick, instead of feeling like I had to construct a new house every volume.
Meanwhile the characters of the 1st volume wouldn’t just be junior officers in Weichsel’s army, whom I struggle to drag along the story to stay relevant. Instead, they could be tied directly to the tale of how Sylviane ascends in the Empire. Giving them roles to fill also means I don’t need to introduce as many new characters in every volume, which was one of my biggest headaches.
I can’t believe it took me so long to see this option.
I could have, should have done this two years ago.
Thus, I am official undropping Daybreak. I will return to working on this story.
This is the Daybreak Redux project : Daybreak(re)
P.S. Work on Eve of Rebirth will continue until end of Volume 1, then I’ll see if it met my expectations before deciding its future. The events of Eve will also play a bigger role in Daybreak.
…
Since this is a rather ambitious project, I’m tapping some of my professional skills to manage goals and timelines. If you’re interested in my the details and dates involved feel free. May involve minor spoilers.
Project Goals:
- Resurrect Daybreak on Hyperion.
- Rewrite the beginning so that while the story of 1st Volume is not noticeably changed, the setting changes to Rhin-Lotharingie and the characters carry over to subsequent volumes better.
- Fix major expectation issues by beginning discussions of political, military, and worldbuilding matters early in 1st Volume, without altering the fundamental balance of pacing — the humor and slapstick wills stay, but increasingly more detailed discussions will be injected in bite-sized chunks, culminating in Kaede’s discussion with Cecylia.
- On the plus side, Kaede actually feels properly intellectual from the very beginning.
- Hyperion should also shed its “generic fantasy world” feel earlier.
- Start discussing Kaede’s past in the real world earlier. This was delayed too long in the original.
- Fix the skewed plot balance towards big battles. Too many battles were taking significant screentime without offering enough character development benefits. (i.e. 5 chapters were combat-focused in vol2, way too much).
- Increase focus on administrative and diplomatic affairs, which can stay more character-interaction-driven.
- Fix long-time inconsistencies (i.e. mana/ether) and many of my old awkward writing tendencies (i.e. grammar).
Volume 1 Plans:
- Keep most characters and events as is.
- Begins in Rhin-Lotharingie’s Alisia Academy, instead of Weichsel’s Konigsfeld Military Academy.
- Extend conversations with earlier/more focus on worldbuilding by placing greater emphasis on Kaede’s scholarly views.
- Inject more comparisons from Kaede between the new world and her personal background.
- Major characters given more experience at start, not merely students but grad and interns.
- Pascal, Ariadne, and Professor Albert begins in Alisia, in a program to exchange culture/military expertise.
- Reynald > Renaud Moreau, armiger cadet
- Parzifal > Perceval de La Tours de… intern healer
- Gerd > Gerard Fournier, civil engineer
- Cecylia > Weichsel military attache & analyst, works in the embassy at Alis Avern
- Fix language (god my grammar is awful back then!)
Milestone 1: complete rewrite by 7/1/2020. Beta may take longer as needed. Hold back on publishing.
Volume 2 Plans:
- Largely rewritten (especially early on), but maintain major events
- Keep: Manteuffel plot
- Keep: Admiral Winter’s campaign, however the Air Battle of Nordkreuz will not be given as much focus
- Keep: Geoffroi and Gabriel
- Remove: campaign into Skagen.
- Remove: Sylv going too far with Kaede > this created a lot of backlash for no good purpose
- First half focused on the Royal Summit in Rhin-Lotharingie, where the major players in the Empire get together to discuss the invasion. Provides early introduction to major characters and overall situation. Less of problem in vol3+
- Introduce Viviene, Alistair, et cetera.
- Cecylia will play a role at conference. Ariadne returns to Weichsel early.
- Second half focused on trip to Nordkreuz, where Pascal/Sylv is tasked with getting support from Weichsel. Original meeting with King Leopold will be used as basis.
- Reynaud/Perceval/Gerard won’t appear again until they meet Elspeth.
- Main focus will be for Pascal and Kaede to find their respective roles (old vol2 lacked a central focus).
- Major battles near the end only. Pascal plans for the Air Battle (per original) but won’t partake in it. He is then charged with the Land Defense of Nordkreuz, after the air raid (per original). Kaede will have a role in the battle.
Milestone 2: first half drafted before 9/30/2020, ending with Gabriel’s interlude.
Milestone 3: second half drafted by 10/30/2020, expected to progress faster as there’s many more shared scenes.
Publication: I will begin publishing the chapters for public view after the 1st half of vol2 is fully beta-read and 2nd half is mostly finished. Volume 1 will be made available at once. Volume 2 at a pace. Preferably to start no later than October.
Volume 3 Plans:
- Keep most characters and events as is.
- Begin in Nordkreuz, start expedition into Rhin-Lotharingie from there, as is.
- Start trip earlier as there is less introductions needed.
- Reynaud becomes one of Sylv’s armigers at some point.
- Rhin-Lotharingie characters should have been introduced earlier. Fix some issues, especially with Vivi’s surprise entry.
- See if we can fix mid-volume pacing issues that used to plague us.
- See if we can remove or reduce one of the battles.
Milestone 4: draft completed before 12/31/2020.
Final Goal: restart work on Volume 4 by beginning of 2021.
Author's CommentIf you've enjoyed this update, please take a moment to vote for Daybreak on Hyperion at TopWebFiction. Aorii isn't good at self-promotion so every bit of your support helps.
Thank you \(•ᴗ•)/
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OwO
I was looking around in Royal Road (a website I barely ever check), and boom, I just stumbled upon the first chapter with that ‘rewrite’ taunting me in the title. I couldn’t control myself, looking at your profile, checking the url for this blog and reading this post and the other two related ones with an intensity I haven’t had in weeks.
Today I’m not even going to sleep. I have a lot to catch up.
Love ya, figuratively, of course.
And I’m glad you figured out what you wanted to do with the story. *high five*
haha. Welcome back, and thanks~
yeah I’ve been working on this for quite some time now. But I haven’t figured a good way of getting word out to many old readers since both krytyk’s and baka-tsuki (the 2 sites this used to be hosted on) are rather dead at this point.
now i see what you have done there^^
don’t you worry you shall be forgiven for having send an e-mail without a permission.
Great is the joy of having you back at Hyperion 😀
Now with that out of the way let’s get down to buissness shall we?
sad as it is, that you are not acctually where you left of, its close enough for now, and it will be fun to accompany you as we march on.
i got to say, the story overall is a whole lot smother, even if i don’t yet know weather i like all the changes or not.
now don’t get me wrong, i enjoyed reading both version, but while the rewrite is smoother it lacks a bit to my mind.
i gone try to explain my points.
for one: the world-building…we have started with it way earlier than before true enough, but sadly it makes hardly any difference to the story, now it does for the reader of cause, setting them to change thier mindset and challenges them to formulate, what changes Hyperion from our world, but the story hardly takes note of the early revelations. Granted they ARE busy and quite a few conversations that could have been had where omitted, but as i said sadly it doesn’t change the direction of the story at all, whiche i somewhat expected, one way or the other given Kaede and Pascal had more time to elaborate, the meaning in those differences.
now dont get me wrong here, the examination system they worked on is huge, the “stock-market” is visionary, but no divergence from the original. i wished it had some impact beyond worldbuilding and reader-“imagination”
for two: Silviane…i will openly admit i was not a fan of her’s when you introduced her in the original….for obvious reasons…She came off way better in the rewrite, but thats kind of a down trade for me as well, for i really, really enjoyed her development or rather the development of their relations Silv. x Pascal x Kaede. Now we are not where we used to be…after the battle in Ceredigion, when Silv and Kaede made peace with one another, but given the scene after the battle of nordkap is missing, their relation is nowhere near a tense as it has been….
well i like the new Silv better and i will gladly watch where you take the relations from here.
it is not fair to judge the original vs. the rewrite when they are not at the same point in the story, but sadly i am human and can’t help evaluate both versions as the whole i know of them…
for three: Your decision to place the first Volume in Rhin-Lotharingie…while it does make sence for the flow of the story, the visiting the Capital and such…it sadly doesn’t make a lot of sence to me in the “earlier” stages of the story….Pascal and Ariadne both graduated and accompanie the Prof. as assistants, no problem so far…but than you turn around halve way and have them act as some kind of transfer student…at least i got the impression…well the impact on the story as a whole is marginal, but it could have been huge (refer to point one)…
i know that sound like a throughout bashing of all the work you have put forth, but make no mistake. i have enjoyed reading both versions very much. sadly there is not much to say on the things i enjoy about the story in this context, for it is mostly things that have been kept for both of them, like the rooftop scene in vol. 1 or how they made up with one another as a result of it, the comparison to the midway battle and the subsequent “solution” is yet again an example, not to get started about the chances Kaede got to “show off” …
the some real changes, that i can say i without a doubt i enjoyed are how you handled Gabriel’s role…i don’t understand entirely it yet, which by my guess had been the intention, did Geoffroi know? where does Gabriel wish to take this and so on… keep me on edge, but please not waiting ;P
or the way Reynaud and Perceval got integrated into the delivery of the message…
again it is not right to judge with the expectation/”knowledge” from the former version, but thats how it is…
i really hope to see more of Samara…
not to mention that i hope to see more of you and your story^^
in hope that you will take this a constructive and maybe even inspirational critique,
yours sincerely,
mumiah
Hey mumiah, welcome back and thanks for the great feedback =)
I’ve never left Hyperion. I just stopped working on Daybreak (xD). Everything I’ve written since also take place on Hyperion, and will likely influence Daybreak moving down.
Yeah a lot of the early conversation are just intro moments, little peeks that this story isn’t just a “school life story” which many readers of the old version thought at first. Some of the topics return later, like in volume 2 when Pascal/Sylv discuss what Sylv was doing during the events of volume 1. Others take much longer, as Kaede won’t reflect on gunpowder again for a very long time. Both education and economic changes are meant as long term topics that the main characters will come back to every so while, and as all reforms things go slowly at first (I always found it weird isekai stories seem to make social reforms look easy when they’re one of the hardest efforts). So yeah overall they don’t make a huge difference on early volumes.
I expect to keep all of the drama between Sylv and Kaede in vol3, but yeah it’s not quite as tense as before. Main issue is that the old vol2 Sylv/Kaede scene rubbed too many people in the extremely wrong way which pushed Sylv into ‘unsalvageable’ territory for them after the events of mid-vol3… which was definitely undesirable.
Well graduate-level exchange has always laid somewhere between transfer students and academic assistants so… I feel like your impression isn’t off? (xD) Pascal and Ariadne are written to have one boot in the professional side, but not entirely. So it comes off as slightly mixed bag. I guess it might have been different if I wrote a classroom scene where they actually did some teaching… food for thought.
One of the goals of the rewrite was definitely to give Emperor Geoffroi a bigger presence in the story, as his influence will linger for quite a long time on the characters. Similarly Gabriel had a huge role even in the old version, though I can’t say much without spoiling v4.
I plan to do some rework on the stories I’ve been writing during the time Daybreak was on hold, all of which take place in Samara (or at least, its predecessor state). Kaede herself wouldn’t get to visit Samara for a long time though, due to busy-ness elsewhere.
Best regards, and thanks again for the trove of feedback (^^ ). Also if you use discord, you’ll see an invite link in the TOC page.
~ Aorii
I recently remembered this novel of yours and had to do some digging to find it. This is fantastic news and thank you for continuing. I loved the characters and story when I first read it a few years ago. How time flies!
Well, this is a pleasant surprise.
Welcome back.
Great news! I confess that Daybreak probably set the bar too high for web fictions, and that I’ve never been able to find the same depth or interest in anything else online. The closest I’ve came to it was reading The Wandering Inn, but I’m very happy that you’ve decided to pick Daybreak back up.
Ho-ho-horrray!
Really very glad to hear about continuation of the project. Can`t wait to read new version of Kaede`s and Pascal`s adventures.
Since the project is starting up again, I figured I might as well ask a question that came to my mind on my reread. In volume 3 chapter 16, Pascal produces a nuclear fusion reaction and blows apart part of the Cataliyan army (as well as some of his allies), in the aftermath of the explosion we see multiple characters suffering from radiation poisoning as a result. Anyway my question is why are they getting radiation poisoning? From my limited understanding, nuclear fusion reactions (like the one Pascal used) tend to produce little to no radiation as a by-product and it’s the more commonly used nuclear fission reactions (the kind used in nuclear reactors) that cause radiation fallout. From what I understand, the only reason hydrogen bombs produce fallout is because the bombs themselves have some nuclear fission reactions in the initial stages of the bomb. In fact, I distinctly recall that a primary advantage of a theoretical nuclear fusion reactor that some people (like Bill Gates) advocate is that nuclear fusion reactions produce no radioactive waste. I’m admittedly no nuclear expert so I could be wrong on this. Appreciate you for taking the time to read this as well as your story. Thanks!
Fusion does cause radiation. The term you’re thinking of is ‘fallout’, which is persisted radiation that lingers in the environment. Fusion radiation doesn’t last as the radioactive particles it produces, such as tritium, has an extremely short half-life, however it can still release things like beta and gamma particles in the burst, which penetrates the human body and mutates/destroys cell DNA.
Hey! Good to see that daybreak would be getting worked on again. All these years i’ve been checking it up once in a while to see if there’s an update or not. Then, i found this site what a happy day! Haven’t got the time to read Samaran Daybreak though but i will surely give it a look. So, yeah, i’m excited for the Daybreak Redux project and happy to know that you haven’t abandoned the story. This is an ambitious project so do it at your own pace and i wish you good luck!
YEEEEEeeeeesssss! Finally I was devastated when I learned that daybreak wasn’t coming back, and now I have hope again, thank you so much author-sama
Now I have more reasons to reread it again. It was so good before, now it’s getting even better. I love the story and characters, especially the dialogue between them. I was sad when I heard that Daybreak had been dropped but I understand why it happened but now I am so rejuvenated. With everything happening in the world right now, this news make for a great sanctuary.
Thank you for the amazing experience even years back.
I will always be a fan.
Heyya. Gosh. Its been years since i read daybreak. This is a nice surprise. Good luck withe project and glad i can read this novel again.
Welcome back and hope you enjoy ^^
I really love Daybreak on Hyperion! Looking forward for the cute interactions between Pascal and Kaede again ^_^
Yay! Super excited!
I can only read through royal road for so long before I question my sanity…
Woahhh !! Finally. I’m very happy to see this since i’ve been following daybreak since very early and always been hoping to see a continuation. While eve is also a great story, it doesn’t have the same appeal to me compared to daybreak, so very happu that daybreak is restarting again. All of these changes looks great and hope you all the best.
Some question tho, are you going to replacr to previous daybreak alre posted on krytyk site or are you going to post in separately in another medium?
I don’t think I’ll replace, but post an entire separate set. Some of the chapters are just way too different, especially starting from chapter 2. The comments attached to the old chapters would make no sense.
Would you say that this is a dawn of a new era? That Day has broken upon Hyperion?
Bad puns aside, if you’re starting in Sylvaine’s home turf, the change in setting means we’ll be seeing her sooner and more often. With that said, is there any change in how you intend to address her mental disorders?
Nein. I considered it, but it would break the pacing of the 1st volume too much if she enters the scene. If anything, starting on Sylv’s home turf makes Sylv and Kaede’s early relationship more bumpy. She still arrives at the beginning of v2. The biggest difference is that she come with King Alistair whom Pascal has issues with, much like in original v3. So instead of trying to pack that bit into the middle of v3 along with everything else, I get to start building the foundations early. Fun ^^
At the moment, I don’t feel the need to change any of the parts about her mental disorder, other than removing her first episode in v2 (with Kaede) which *really* rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. I’d much rather an episode less harmful to her character image, like her running off the rails with some idea. Of course, I may change my mind some when I actually hit v3 in rewrite.
Welcome back =P
Hey Aorii, I’ve commented here several times in the past under a different name, however, in recently I have changed which name I use. So, if you don’t recognize me from around here, don’t worry.
Your level of dedication towards your projects never ceases to amaze me, the original versions of daybreak and eve hold a special place in my heart to this day, I suppose that’s partly due to the fact that I ran into them during some of my formative years, however, I think it’s mostly due to your writing. Daybreak was one of the *many* things that eventually caused my outlook on myself and life as a whole to change. I relate to Kaede while also not, somehow I manage to both envy her and empathize with her, she’s put into a body she never wanted- but one that I would’ve-, and forced to live out her life in it. But even outside of Kaede, I loved the worldbuilding, the politics, the battles. It just, all felt… I’m not sure how to even describe it, however, the level of care you have for Daybreak really does a number on me ^^;
So, thank you for writing. Kinda a weird thing to thank you for, since you probably write for yourself as much as anyone else, it’s also kinda an odd timing, but, really, thank you
– Long time reader,
orangesnowfox
Hello Fox. I really wish I can tell what your original name is so I could make the link xP
Your flattering words are making me feel bad I let Daybreak sit for so long now ^^’. That being said, one of the changes I’m adding more to Daybreak is even more moments that makes the reader *think* about everything they know, not just when it comes to gender but all kinds of information — a couple of topics I touch upon in the rewritten v1 includes: the victors’ bias on history, the influence on social attitudes by a superpower, “national myth”, the need for cross-referencing of information, etc.
I hope you’ll continue to support and comment =) It’s true that I write because I consider it a joy, but my motivation also lives off feedback xD
Thank you for “undrop” day break!
Hey!
I am really happy to see that you will bring the old story back into life. I really loved it.
It really is an ambitious plan to rewrite two whole volumes in half a year. I’m sure you really love your cration, but maybe you should take things a bit slower so you won’t get burned out by it. It would be counter productive if you spent all your time on it and get overwhelmed.
That’s certainly true and I’m wary of it. My main concern at the moment is losing the steam and enthusiasm I’ve built up in the last week (so much that it’s in my dreams… that hasn’t happened in a long time xD). I know that if I drag it out, I definitely will lose the initial enthusiasm, which often causes me to put another project in the spotlight (I’m always focused on *some* project xD not always creative). I acknowledge the timeline may be optimistic, but I’d rather be delayed than having a deliberate slow timeline to cause me to drag my feet.
Daybreak(re) doesn’t suffer from one problem I often have with writing. Usually I’m only willing to go so far ahead of beta-readers so I can verify from them I haven’t flown off the rails. This is what happened on Eve (I make a flurry of updates in Dec/Jan, then wait for my beta-readers to catch up, during which my focus changed to something else). However I already know the plotline for Daybreak. Even for Volume 2, the ending will be pretty much same as original. I just need to fill in all the details.
Thanks for your support o/