Finally, it’s released. After months of effort, countless hours of editing…
I mean sure, there’s still a ton of work to be done. But it’s nice feeling a certain degree of fruition, rather than simply, waiting…
Anyhow, three items in this Dev Diary: progress update, redux change overview, and notes on Kaede’s character change.
Progress Update
Less than stellar, I’m afraid. According to my originally planned schedule, I should have finished 2nd volume’s rewrite by now. In reality, I’m still in the middle of it. The main reason is that the changes were a lot more significant than I originally planned, which gave me some headaches. Combine that with the fact I’ve been tackling a really headache-inducing project at work (modifying our company’s entire backend security workflow), I have not been making much progress during the last month or so.
I hope this improves now that we’re hitting winter and I still have most of the year’s vacation time (which must be spent), but… we’ll see. Even in the most optimistic scenario, I doubt I can finish 3rd volume and start on 4th by the New Year as I originally hoped.
Meanwhile, in regards to releases: I have built up some chapters that’s mostly done beta reviewing, so I’ll be releasing them at an accelerated pace in the coming weeks, aiming for once a week. Look forward to it (^o^ ).
By the way, I started a discord, if you’re interested. I’m not on very often though, but it’s not a bad place to leave a message or if you’d like more discussions on things.
Redux Change Overview
Honestly, enough details have changed that if you want to keep up with the new version of Daybreak, I suggest re-reading Volume 1. However if you’d like to know where the major changes are, here’s a list:
- Volume 1 Chapter 1: opening scene is completely new, albeit based on the old one.
- Volume 1 Chapter 4: dinner scene sees Kaede breaches the topic of gunpowder with Pascal, as worldbuilding conversations begin much earlier than before.
- Volume 1 Chapter 5: discussion with Ariadne on Rhin-Lotharingie reminds her of Russia.
- Volume 1 Chapter 6: Kaede begins trying to grasp the weird entity that is Rhin-Lotharingie early as she reads.
- Volume 1 Chapter 7: brief introduction of Perceval’s family *snickers*.
- Volume 1 Chapter 13: mostly new, as Kaede and Cecylia goes on a much longer discussion than before. Gerard’s intro was also rewritten.
- Volume 1 Chapter 14: Rhin-Lotharingie’s initial response to war is very different from Weichsel’s.
- Volume 1 Epilogue: new. Feel free to guess whom the mysterious person is.
- Volume 1 Extra 1: roughly doubled in length as Kaede reflects on her Samaran-ness.
- Volume 2 Chapter 1: new scene at the end, introducing Alistair.
- Volume 2 Chapter 2: this is actually Kaede’s recollection from old v3ch1, except with an extra scene added, and some world events updated. I pushed this into v2 as people told me in the original release that I had delayed this intro on Kaede’s old life for way too long.
- Volume 2 Chapter 3: entirely new chapter with some recycled old dialogue.
- Volume 2 Chapter 4: Council of War… except from the Rhin-Lotharingie point of view.
- Volume 2 Chapter 5: mostly based on the old v2ch4, except with some new discussions as Sylv talks about what she’d been up to during volume 1’s timeframe. Also Vivi…
One of the big changes is that I’m not merely paying lip service to Kaede’s scholar mentality in volume 1. Instead I’m digging into it far earlier than before. Which brings me to…
Kaede’s Character Changes
In the overall flow of things, Kaede really hasn’t changed that much. But if you examine the details, I’ve really tweaked her quite a bit.
The main reason is that there’s always been a thorn in my side in the original Daybreak, and that is when I saw a comment by someone that Kaede… didn’t really feel Russian. In fact she felt like a Japanese-American. And it’s not just because I write in American English.
That single statement bothered me for years.
It’s part of why I started to dig into cultures more and not just history. And in hindsight, I rather agree with whomever made that comment.
Kaede is way too optimistic and accepting, even when you consider her age.
Amusingly, I actually tried to build this aspect into the core of Luna’s character in Eve of Rebirth, except even some of my beta-readers didn’t like the results. The issue is that cynicism — real cynicism and not the lip service we see a lot in sarcastic protagonists — tends to make a character more reactive than proactive. When the harsh realities of the world has taught you that things aren’t easy to change, that your current well-being is fleeting, that everything can go up in smoke at a blink, well it teaches you to be super-careful, always watch what you say, and always take care of what you have and not over-reach, and mostly, never overestimate what you can achieve.
I mean, just think about what kind of values your parents would have if they lived through the Soviet collapse (scroll down to the excerpt named Death of a Nation to see just what the Russians went through), then passed these values down to you?
As a friend once noted to me: it takes a long time to get most Russians to truly open up on how they feel about the world.
However, most readers expect protagonists to be… more proactive, more expressive, more protagonist-y.
For this reason I didn’t want to make Kaede too cynical. One of Kaede’s endearing points has always been that she doesn’t hesitate to jump in when she believe she can be helpful. Yet, I need to inject this ‘carefulness’ into her in some other way. I decided to do it through how Kaede handles information.
Not only is Kaede a half-Russian, half-Japanese, which poses her with a major dilemma in life through no fault of her own. She’s also someone who actually read and investigate for herself, instead of simply swallowing common misconceptions, which means she has an uphill battle to fight.
Why do I say that? Because of this:
Can you imagine going through childhood during which almost everything about your nation of origin is being constantly demonized? The facts so grotesquely altered that it no longer bears any semblance to reality?
And it’s even worse in Japanese media, especially if you look at the stuff they produced in the 90s and prior. There are only stereotypes and villains. There is no depth whatsoever in exploring the Russian character outside caricatures.
And it gets worse again after Putin’s famous 2007 Munich speech, when he basically told the West (mostly America) to stop treating the world like a toy, invading countries and starting political coups wherever they want. Of course his warning fell on deaf years, and by 2008 Putin did a full 180 switch with Russia’s foreign policy — from pro-Western to anti-Western. The rest is history.
And the “demonize everything Russian” campaign went up, and up, and up.
“I asked a group of people… just try to find in the New York Times, over the past three years, 2015, 16, 17, any positive article about Russia. One positive article. Didn’t find any. Not one… if that isn’t censorship, then what is it? I mean there have to be people who come to Russia and say, gee, they have good ice cream, you know, or they have great theater, and they do… But no, it’s all negative. And that’s the New York Times, let alone everything else.”
– Vladimir Pozner
(sigh).
In any case, back to topic — Kaede.
From a writer’s point-of-view, this change to Kaede is actually a great opportunity for me. Not only does it give me a reason to make Kaede a scholar of geopolitics in addition to history, it also makes Kaede more careful when she handles information provided to her. That means I get an opportunity to break down said information down, to dissect the biases and glorification, to recognize the common propaganda tropes within it, etc.
It starts with Kaede examining Rhin-Lotharingie’s “national myth”.
I hope this angle of Kaede can help show how people need think/research for themselves, to recognize problems in many commonly circulated claims, to ask themselves afterwards: “but is this really the case?”
Because in my opinion (and many of the investigative journalists I follow), the amount of propaganda that is circulated through the media today is even worse than during the Cold War…and that’s saying something.
Author's Comment
If you've enjoyed this update, please take a moment to vote for Daybreak on Hyperion at TopWebFiction. Aorii isn't good at self-promotion so every bit of your support helps.
Thank you \(•ᴗ•)/
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I’m someone who’s only read the new version and has never seen the old one, but looking through the list of changes has been fascinating, as has just how much care you’ve put into Kaide’s character throughout all this.
I’d say it really shows in how well this has all come out, and I look forward to fully catching up in the future.
Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed those parts, even as a new reader ^^
This whole russian Identity makes zero sense. Such a sentiment or outlook is gained by growing up in those circumstances. Obviously Kaede didn’t as 2004 or 2005 kid from japan.
I would be more inclined to expect them to dislike the gender bending. Considering this novels earth world outlook is very americabadbroczedgyatheist.
If you actually paid attention to what’s written, you’d realize that a “kid from Japan” is a gross oversimplification of Kaede, since she didn’t move to Japan until middle school years.
I’ve actually talked to multiple Russian expats about Kaede’s character and I’m quite satisfied with the responses.
Also
(1) I’m American, and probably done more work for my country than 98% of people. Actually spent years working with USAF intelligence.
(2) I’m not an atheist, and Kaede certainly isn’t written to be one. The fact you even think she is says something about your attention to detail while reading.=
How old are those Russian expats? Must’ve been an adult in the 90s. I agree with the father from Kaede, he is very different from the average Russian.
Yes of course. In the flying spaghetti monster we trust.
Yes, immediately try to summon an excuse for how these people are invalid rather than rethink the possibility that you may be wrong.
“Must’ve been an adult in the 90s”? Sorry but this story doesn’t appeal to that generation and I’ve yet to meet a reader of that age.
Don’t beat yourself on the slow progress: better slow and good than fast and worse. Also, trying to rush things will only burn you again.
Thanks for picking this back up and thanks for the email.
Just finished the new chapters. Not much insight on my end. Just the best web novel I’ve
read, and I love it even more than the original! Keep up the great work!
Hello Aorii thanks for the email update. I am really looking forward to re-reading this new version -the Kaede tweaks sound interesting.
I always assumed the half Russian background for Kaede was only to give a semi neutral outsider perspective and to allow some more espionage/politicking in the plot later on.
Daybreak world is essentially a central European parallel world. So some sort of eastern influence in espionage, politics or minor conflict was to be expected. What with the foreshadowing.
I had a brief exchange of comments / long walls of text a few year ago around imperialism the British role and Churchill/India /UK educational policy so wont go over old debates. I just wanted to add some very brief points/ thoughts.
1. I think the Russian experience of the collapse of the soviet union is sometimes
misunderstood outside of Russia it is seen more a positive / bloodless end to the last European empire. i.e. freedom of eastern Europe and end to MAD and generally opening to trade and normalising of relations. End of proxy wars etc.
The post soviet era was also a scramble for power and money in Russia.
The economy was in upheaval and corruption was bad even by Russian historical/modern standards. This is sometimes white washed in part because powerful people benefited and because it allowed at lot of people to be absolved of involvement. Freedom without limits or law systems in place caused a fair bit of disruption given how quickly it collapsed I am not sure if it was avoidable given the soviet system.
2. The current Russian-western relations/ propaganda wars really only started post 2003-4
and Iraq war. Russian and US right wing media are just as bad twisting events to suit editorial policies. Europe used to be more balanced media but recent political and economic conflicts have undermined some objectivity. Russia government also has restricted correspondents from some news agencies from reporting events in the country upsetting other national editors. (stupid PR strategy)
The reality is the cold war threat and thaw in relation after froze a lot of long lasting conflicts – political economic and ideological differences between countries. The Iraq war damaged the international norms, raised issues about acceptable international relations behaviour. Everything from how to use spies, to trade tariffs, to what is acceptable to promote values. ( democracy/rule of law /human rights etc)
Fighting for influence using propaganda and twisting events on both side is just part of the wider conflicts of interest.
Sigh..
The problem often is that this cause problems with xenophobia and distorts what was going on in the first place if it goes to far or for too long. Seriously its been like 16 years generally low-mid level tit for tat conflict between Russian allies and USA Allies.
You would think governments would have better things to do / could of try to agree on anything useful.
Right back to the book I glad you chose to restart/reboot this I always thought the setting and characters had a lot potential and the style of writing was overall enjoyable to read.
Hey thanks for the feedback. I hope you enjoy the return 😉
Yes that was my originally intended goal with Kaede, to allow her to have a more worldly perspective. It’s just that due to my own ignorance I did a pretty lackluster job on representing that side of the world.
I don’t have anything to add to (#1) since I generally agree with it. As for (#2), yeah both outlets are really just as bad, the only difference is that almost everyone knows Russia media is propaganda (even the Russians), but far too many people take the American media at face value (due to the ‘free media’ fallacy). European media also hasn’t been balanced for a long time because European politics, at its core, supports the US neoliberal order and its dominance of global economics (business interests speak far louder than ideology at the decision-making level). Not that their objectives align 100% of the time, but they do so far more than not. Even a brief dive into say, cooperation between the CIA + German BND notes that they’ve gained tremendous economic benefits by using underhanded means to open up foreign markets.
Sure, ideally speaking governments would be better off stop trying to kick each other and focus on self-development, but that requires trust which simply doesn’t exist between the major power blocs right now.
Hey, it’s great to see this project coming along. I must say it was a real blow when you announced that you would be dropping the original Daybreak. Though it may have had some shortcomings (there’s no such thing as a perfect work, especially for the creator), I enjoyed Kaede’s and Pascal’s antics. I can only say that this is a few of the good things to look forward in what has otherwise been an awful year.
On the subject of IRL trouble, I can totally understand why you would be having headaches. Heavily modifying working and sensitive code without all hell breaking loose is a daunting task, unless you *really* have a good grasp on what depends on it and all the ways it could break… I recently went through a similar nightmare myself when *someone* (read as management without any actual idea of the implications) had the brilliant idea of changing the hardware platform for our prototype STB… New OS kernel, breaking changes to almost everything, a mountain of patches to review on insane deadlines… I certainly thought that was going to be the end of me. Certainly hope your case is not as bad, otherwise I can only offer my condolences and pray for the future of Daybreak. Thank you for taking the time to continue this series!
Haha thanks for your continued support, it really means a lot =)
This project was actually my first time diving into security so… yeah. Though honestly it doesn’t sound nearly as problematic as yours. My boss is a pretty good gatekeeper so generally we don’t get outright ridiculous requirements =x
First off, what a lovely email to receive in the morning about you doing a rewrite, especially since unlike most rewrites you actually went through with it rather than it petering out into nothing!
Now onto the setting/plot changes. I definitely approve of Magic School.tm being moved to Rhin-Lotharingie, with Pascal already having gone to a more traditional military school in Weichsel. It definitely makes more sense, especially with the way the school and its students has been portrayed, to be in the more traditionally feudal nation, and I feel Pascal already having a full military education makes more sense in the long run. Moving the initial starting point also makes sense from a plot perspective because as you mentioned in an earlier post, having the characters start in Weichsel when the story is going to move primarily to a new setting was an awkward transition.
I also am glad that the setting change allows us to get to the real meat and potatoes of the war earlier, as while getting to see flamethrower Vikings was fun, plotwise it definitely seemed to be somewhat fillery compared to the war against the Caliphate and the dynastic shenanigans/politics, which was far more interesting and important to our characters.
Also, it seems you are handling the Manteuffel plot far better. While in the original it mostly had to do with Manteuffel just appearing too big for his britches for the king, along with a bit of support from the cardinal/bishop lady that was pro Imperial whose name I couldn’t bother with, even though POV passages from the general depicted him as pretty much a loyal dude which definitely made the king come off as more like a paranoid Middle Eastern dictator rather than an intelligent ruler, especially given that most other evidence pointed him to being not in any way in bed with the apparent pro Empire faction. Here there is a far more clear reason for the king to have the general get assassinated, with him being in a political faction that is pro Empire/opposed to Weichsel’s current strategy, which is a far more clear reason while still allowing you to show the readers that Pascal isn’t exactly the most politically savy at times like in the original version of the Manteuffel plot.
You mention you are going to be trimming down the big battles and that is arguably my favorite change you announced so far. As fun as a bit of literary splurging on battles can be, especially with how creative you are with magic and its applications to combat, this is where the visual medium honestly is superior to the written word as while I can ooh and ahh over pretty explosions on the screen, after so much reading it tend to cause my eyes to glaze over especially when there isn’t anything super crucial happening for the characters and its just paragraph’s of action sequences. Cutting the proverbial fat for more characterization and moving the plot along is nice and will arguably be the biggest thing that will cut down on the plot the original story had at times.
Last but not least, we have Kaede. You say she is a history scholar and yet she isn’t cursing Wikipedia in every breath she mentions it? Jokes aside, I am definitely glad you finally gave her a patronymic, which was definitely a bit off-putting in the first Daybreak, although subsequent character changes I have yet to comment on as so far Chapter 1 was mostly similar in a lot of the actual characterization. However, I must admit that Kaede’s scholar persona really takes a hit when she repeats the very very tired Victor’s Write History Bullshit. As a history major myself, I unironically have never seen this used before outside of chodes trying to defend Nazi Germany by trying to contrive and whatabout that somehow stuff like Allied Strategic Bombing or the nasty stuff the Soviets did is somehow not covered in equal light because of some grand conspiracy by the winning powers to make the Nazis appear worse than they are.
Given Kaede was going to be a historian it feels a bit silly that she would subscribe to that tired old trope. Combined with how you have her using it to grumble about the Americans inflating their role in WW2 of all things, which is more than a bit amusing given the way then Kaede’s own countrymen write and feel about their own contributions at times (RIP the Soviet Archives being open), it feels contradictory to her later character, especially where she DOES carefully breakdown the idea of a National Myth, which the Second World War/Great Patriotic War very much has become for the Russian people and honestly could have been a very interesting comparison that Kaede could have made herself. Now if she was a grumpy Russian nationalist like her father, I wouldn’t be complaining as it would be in character, but Kaede herself tends to take the middle ground/self reflective route on a lot of issues, for example her stance on religion, or when it came to the actually serious issue of her and Pascal’s ethics coming to clash over Marina she pulled back and realized she was enforcing her own sense of morality onto him. I am not trying to invalidate all her Russian gripes, as some like her mentioning the stereotyping of Russian’s as barbarians by the West are very valid takes, it is just with the issues I mentioned previously it just felt jarring to see, even if Kaede still only is in highschool.
Overall though, Kaede is still pretty much the same from the first go around and I am fine with that, as the more passive and ‘realistic’ response to ending up in noble high society was a change of pace from a lot of protagonists in these types of story, and even initially she never felt useless given her status as emotional support blanket/someone to suggest/bounce ideas off for two very important movers and shakers (Pascal and Sylv) which I enjoyed.
I am sorry for the wall of text, but I really enjoyed the initial Daybreak and as someone who writes on my own time myself now I have learned just how much self doubt can go into writing, especially when it comes to massive revision such as this, and thus I wanted to provide my current feedback so far on the changes you have done. Keep up the good work and stay safe in these crazy times.
First of all thanks for the feedback 😀 It is always appreciated and I don’t mind a wall-of-text.
Setting: haha yes people have commented to me before that it didn’t make sense for a Prussian-like military school to have such stuck-up bratty nobles. I guess this kind fixes it xD. The original campaign into Skagen did serve a major story purpose which was to get Kaede used to military operations, this time that’s going to get squashed into the late battle of vol2.
Manteuffel: you know, this was an entirely unintended side-effect because I didn’t realize that issue existed in the original, but hey I’ll take it xD
On Kaede: all history scholars know that ‘common perception’ of history is filled with misleading info xD. Though even for wiki’s faults it’s still useful for research as a “starting ground” =P
The victor’s write history “BS” also happens to be true? I mean I think anyone trying to defend Nazi Germany is an idiot but the Allies definitely tried to absolve themselves of all responsibilities while blaming it on their foes: if the standards of Nuremberg were applies Churchill should have been hung for the genocidal policies he carried out in 1943 India, while Roosevelt/Morgenthau should have been shot for JCS-1067 which aimed to starve Germany back into an agricultural society, famously making General Lucius Clay remark “There is no choice between being a communist on 1500 calories a day and a believer in democracy on 1000.” Even several of the judges present at Nuremberg/Tokyo Trials noted that it was a travesty of law, as the only effective defense for the criminals were “well the allies did the same thing and we have proof”. There is zero doubt that Germany committed heinous atrocities, but if history were just, we should be reading about how British policies created the Bengal Famine or how Germany starved prior to the Marshal Plan just as much… but we don’t. The result is what you see today — in Germany it is illegal to deny the holocaust, but in Britain there are plenty who still believe British Colonization was “good for India”. This is the truth of “victors writing history”: when you’re the victor, you get to sweep your sins under the rug.
Oh there’s no doubt that Russia overhyped their own role in WW2 to mythic proportions, but that doesn’t change the reality that the US did the same, and even more so than the USSR, and unlike Russia’s self-glorification the US one worked on an international scale. It’s well known that nearly 80% of Germany’s combat strength perished in the Eastern Front, including most of their veteran troops from Polish/French campaigns (you can even find videos of lectures from the US Army War College about this stuff). I fail to see where the problem is, as this is a gripe virtually universal to all Eastern Front historians (including non-Russians such as David Glantz)
Its alive T.T
Do take care of yourself IRL, and thanks so much for the updates! It has been a while since I last read Daybreak so I’ll have to go back and read it if I were to put out my opinions on the changes. Nonetheless, it feels good to see Daybreak getting new updates again 🙂
This is really insightful, and I absolutely agree about the Russian stuff. It really didn’t feel like it even mattered to Kaede at all in the original, since she never really made many actual references to Russia in the original. I’m going to read the new version, but from what I remember of the old, Kaede’s Russian heritage never really felt like it mattered outside of her saying effectively, “I was half-Russian btw.” You’re also absolutely correct that how the west (mainly America) characterizes the USSR, Russia, China, and basically any country with any kind of socialist goals is absolutely an unfair portrayal in American media. Thank you for your insights on your old work! Also, thanks for not giving up on the story entirely and giving it another chance.
Even in the old one I tried to inject some aspects of being Russian, and I was happy to get some western readers to realize that for average Russians, the “liberalization” of post-Soviet-collapse was not a good thing but rather a traumatic one (the first freedom they earned was the Freedom to Starve, and many did). Also bewildered some readers why Kaede rejected the offer from Captain Markov in v3 when Sylv was at the worst to her (Kaede wasn’t convinced her life would ‘magically get better’ just because she went to Samara). At the time a few Russian commenters told me that was the first time Kaede felt truly Russian and I was like… “wha-?” XD
But yes for the most part it was a rare thing to see any sign of ‘being Russian’ from Kaede.